Little N turned six months a couple of days ago. What a blur it’s been. In May I was looking forward to the end of my pregnancy and hunkering down at home with a new baby. Instead I was back and forth from two different hospitals for two months and still am at the doctors office all. the. time.
I was looking back at my prayer journal from April and May. In two entries I specifically prayed for N’s health. Those prayers were not answered in the way I hoped. Mysteriously God gave me this verse and I wrote it down on a card for N before I even met him,
“Dear [child], I pray that you may enjoy good health and that all may go well with you, even as your soul is getting along well.” 3 John 2
I think of this verse often. I still pray it over him. I choose to focus on that his little soul is “getting along well.” I have no doubt that this sweet little person is inside his broken body. It’s confirmed every time he coos at us, locks eyes on us, and responds in longing to be held.
Well Check Stats
Weight: 12lbs 13oz, less than 2nd percentile
Height: 25 1/2 in, less than 8th percentile
Head Circ: 38 cm, less than 2nd percentile
It’s getting harder and harder to go to well checks and get the lists of everything he should be doing at six months. I still compare him to brother. I vividly remember M at six months. We went on a beach vacation with my family and it was blissful. He was a great sleeper, eater, and he was so fun to cuddle and play with at that age.
I remember saying if I could have kept M six months forever, I would have.
Now I realize I didn’t really mean that.
Because it’s important to grow and develop.
I took that all for granted with M.
So a friend suggested I make a little gratitude list for N.
Even though he isn’t typical, there are lots of things about him for which I’m very thankful for…
Every effortful smile is like witnessing a tiny miracle all over again
He’s cute and cuddly – bound to stay that way a little longer
He’ll wear tiny little clothes a bit longer
Him discovering his voice in the mornings
His little coos back at me
The way he intently looks me in the eyes
A longer wait (who knows how long) for messy baby foods
Friends, and even strangers to him, say he’s really sweet
His life has given us a very specific purpose
He’s gotten me writing again
He brings visitors from afar
He’s touched more lives that I can even count
My book, Beauty in Broken Dreams: A Hopeful Handbook for the Early Years as a Special Needs Parent, is now available on Amazon!
Also be sure to check out my list of Favorite Books on Disability!